I Live To Let You Shine

But You Know It's Gonna Hurt Sometimes.


I never once did anything to you to be treated like this.

You didn’t have to feed me all these lies when you already had me.

If you just wanted sex you could have fucking said so,

I didn’t need to be led on and then tossed away after you got enough of what you wanted.

And I hate how much of a pussy I sound like for saying this and for being so upset over it

but that shit is not cool, and women can be even worse players than men. 

And then you try to talk to me like nothing even happened, like I should be happy for you and your new boyfriend who you claim to love and be happy with, when only a mere few days before you started fucking him you were telling me those exact same words. 

Shit’s so twisted.

I’d also like to wish everybody a Very Merry Christmas, or a very merry whatever you celebrate. 

I made this blog a long time ago because I didn’t want to give an ex girlfriend the link to my direct ‘main’ tumblr account when it came up in conversation that I had one. I wasn’t the most honest person, but I believe everyone is entitled to a couple of their own secrets, at least until the relationship develops into something serious. I wasn’t moonlighting as a porn star or anything, right? I was just trying to shake out the things in my head I couldn’t express to other people. I’ve always had a hard time opening up to individuals, no matter how close and dear to me, and the internet gave me a way to get things off my chest without having to admit anything to anybody who could ever have a direct effect or influence over my life because they were never people who I would ever have to come face to face with. But then as I got to know them as real people I started to grow afraid of what these online personalities thought of me, or might think of me if I said something. Either way, I could care less at this stage.

I’m now reverting this back to the essence of what blogging is suppose to be, of which I can express my personal thoughts and opinions relevant to things happening in my life. I still have a hard time opening up, but I’ve unhinged some of the wires keeping my teeth clenched and my mouth trapped shut all the time.